Turn on the heat

When something starts a bit demanding and you feel the heat, it makes you restless. It happens at times when you start on a frenzied note, an endless search whichleads you nowhere but just leaves you in a maze. You are taken for a ride and the ride lands you in a place you seem so mesmerizing and painful. It mesmerizes you, for the simple reason that you feel everything new. It pains coz it was never real or was never the place for you.
When the count becomes a count for your life, you seem no where to hide from that crass countdown. You feel miserable and you feel like hiding yourself like an ostrich. You act foolish as you dont know how to act, how to face the situation or what are the apt words for this position! You just know nothing. You just start uttering gibberish and land yourself in a more hell like situation. More you start to fix it, more it starts falling apart. But you cant leave it that way! You cant risk your life, yes mind you its your life. Isnt it? You feel like having that bone of contention which leads you nowhere.
Somehow, I faced this situation constantly 24x7 for nearly 120 days or so. I became paranoid all the way. I became miserable as I cant concentrate, I cant sleep. I cant even walk with clear mind. I seemed lost.
Lost, is a paradigm. It is so because for you it may have different meaning. For me iot has different. For him.her it has different. When I say lost , I mean I am lost from my soul. I am lost in the woods, where I see no one and see no path at all.
I want peace and want sweetness. I want back those sweet little things and I dont want to share them with anyone.